Self-Worth, Discipline, and Learning to Ask for Help with Ilya Lerma

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6 May 2026

2 mins to read

Tits, Wit, & Grit

Self-Worth, Discipline, and Learning to Ask for Help with Ilya Lerma

00:00 /

Ilya Lerma once came close to quitting law to wash dogs at a pet store. She was drowning in self-doubt and convinced she just didn't have what it took. What turned it around wasn’t a sudden surge of confidence. It was discipline, the right mentor, and the willingness to bet on herself without a safety net.

In this episode, the Phoenix-based trial attorney, firm owner, and trial coach gets radically honest about the difference between motivation and discipline, why she spent years letting her inner critic run the show, and the moment she woke up in a hospital and decided she was done. She talks about what it took to do the real self-work, why shame is mostly a useless emotion, and how learning to ask for help turned out to be one of the most powerful things she ever did for herself and the people she loves.

In this episode:

Why discipline is a home and motivation is just a guest
The mentor who told her not to quit and what changed when she listened
Training your thoughts like dogs — Ilya's framework for quieting the inner critic
Letting go of perfectionism, shame, and the habit of putting yourself last
Why asking for help is an act of self-worth, not weakness

🔗 Connect with Ilya Lerma: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ilya-law/

🔗 Work with Sara, Laura, and Tracy: pointnortheast.com